Page 25 - Brooklyn MRKT Book

ABOUT BNOT CHAYA ACADEMY

Leah’s Story Ilana’s Story

My background is different than that of many BCA My story begins with my parents’ divorce. It
girls. I came from a normal, functional family, I wasn’t happened when I was very young, and from that time on,
doing drugs or drinking – I was just one of those girls life was a real struggle for me. I had a hard time in school,
who didn’t fit into the system. I broke all the rules of a hard time fitting in with friends, and an especially hard
my Bais Yaakov high school; I had a boyfriend. I needed time living inside my own skin.
something very different, and, after doing a lot of
research, my parents found BCA. It was in sixth grade that I began cutting myself. By
that point, I was no longer keeping Shabbos or kosher.
What’s so incredible about the teachers at BCA Cutting was the only thing in my life that I could control;
is that they’re ready to accept you at your level. They it was the only thing that made me feel alive. This lasted
recognized where I was holding, that I needed the space until tenth grade, when my mother discovered what I was
to make decisions on my own rather than have rules doing, and had me hospitalized. It was the best move she
shoved down my throat. Their whole philosophy is to could have made, because it got me to stop the cutting.
inspire the girls, through speakers, shabbatons, trips and However, my self-destructive desires just found a new
more, to want to make positive changes in their lives, by outlet.
presenting a Judaism that’s joyful and enjoyable.
Drugs, drinking, boys… I was involved with the worst
I had a boyfriend for three years, and it was really of street life, spending my days partying, trying to numb
not good for me. I recognized this, but at the same time myself. At this point, I was totally not religious, and in a
I was very attached, and it was hard to break it off. My really, really bad place. But there was still some resistant
teachers – who I consider my best friends – were there spark inside me, something that told me, this is not what
for me the entire time, encouraging, supporting, available you want your future to look like.
for a 3 AM frantic phone call when I felt my resolve
weakening. The day I broke up with him, my teacher It was that spark that led me to BCA.
drove all the way out to my house to bring me a smoothie.
They were reluctant to take me at first. I had built
I’m one of the luckier ones. I have friends who were such an emotional barricade around myself—and I was
in very bad shape, who, if not for their teachers, would involved in such sordid behaviors—that they weren’t sure
have had no one in their lives to love them. It’s not always they could reach me, or help me. But I begged so hard
easy to love girls who are in such pain. But our that they agreed. And once they did, I became part of
teachers gave us everything, without the family. The staff there loved me for who I was. They
expecting anything in return. didn’t see me as the girl with 12 earrings, but as someone
to be respected. And I learned to respect myself.

Slowly, I came back to religion. Rabbi Wallerstein
had begun speaking about Shabbos, but I didn’t feel
ready yet. I was working at the time with an autistic boy,
and one day he made an innocent comment about how
Hashem hates people who use their phones on Shabbos.
I came crying to Rabbi Wallerstein… and decided that I
would try that Friday night to stay off my phone. Well, as
it turned out, my phone broke – so I couldn’t use it the
entire Shabbos. It was the first Shabbos I observed since I
was seven years old. When my teacher found out what I’d
done, she sent me a huge bouquet of flowers.

I was only in BCA for one year, but that year changed
my life. It’s because of them that today I’m frum, married,
and about to give birth to my second child. I owe them
everything.

BROOKLYN MRKT 2017 25 MRKT BOOK